Remember to forget
by Livvy.14
Summary: Hermione and Draco both have things in the past they'd rather not remember. Unable to share their experiences with others they create an unlikely relationship in each other. Includes mature themes. INCOMPLETE!
1. Edgy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything unfortunately**

 **A/N: This is my first published fanfic. Reviews definitely appreciated. I will try to update this as often as possible.**

 **Prologue**

Draco walked slowly along the corridor looking left and right in at the windows of the compartments on the train. Most people were sat down with their friends, excited for the year to come, relieved that the stress of the war was finally over. He kept his head down as he walked hoping that he could just walk through unnoticed. He had thought about declining the role when he had first been sent the letter informing him he was to be head boy when he went back to Hogwarts. He knew that no one would respect him and rightly so. The things that him and his family had done during the war were horrific. He had known for a long time. Now he was stuck in the middle, destined to be an outcast from both sides. Those who had stood by the Boy-Wonder the whole time would never accept him. However, pretending that he still felt how he had before, going and hanging around the Sytherins, who for the most part hadn't changed their ways, he couldn't do either. So he just continued down the train alone with his thoughts and happy to be so.

«--»

Hermione sat in the corner of and empty compartment at the end of the train. She had left Harry, Ron and the others 15 minutes into their train ride with the excuse that she needed to sort out schedules for the first term, being head girl. Although it was true, it was not really the reason why she had left. The talk about the war was giving her a headache. She hated all the publicity that had been drawn to her because of her part in helping Harry to destroy the Horcruxes. No matter whether it was praise towards the three of them or just general discussion, she couldn't stand it. Everything reminded her of what had happened that night and how she could never tell anyone. She was so ashamed of her little secret and could barely look any of her friends in the eye anymore. Now she sat with parchment spread out before her as she tried with the vaguest hope to concentrate on achieving something productive before they got to Hogwarts.

«--»

He finished his inspection of the train and opened the compartment at the end which he had ensured was empty for himself at the start of the journey. He sank down into the seat and closed his eyes, letting out a tired sigh. When mere seconds later another sigh mirrored his own, his eyes sprang open again. He looked down to see parchment scattered across the table and a sleeping Granger. From what he could make out she had started to write up schedules for the prefect patrols. He had guessed she would be head girl but he doubted she knew he was head boy. A sneer passed across his face. They would doubtless be spending enough time together once they got to Hogwarts as much as she might dislike it. A thought struck him and he groaned. _How would Potter and Weasel react when they found out he was head boy? There was no way they would take it lightly and he was not looking forward to having them around like a constant presence as well as know-it-all Granger. Where were they now anyway? Were they aware that their precious Gryfindor princess was sleeping in a carriage alone and so vunerable?_

He stood up quickly. If they came looking for her he didn't want to bump into them. He turned to open the compartment door and leave when a sound from Granger behind him made him stop. A small sniffle. Almost in slow motion, he turned around again. Facing her, he saw she was still asleep yet there were tears trickling slowly down her cheeks. _Shit._ He had no idea what to do. He watched and her body became tense and her breathing more rapid. Her hands gripped the edge of the table and the tears were falling freely now. Still Draco just stood there. He wondered what she could be dreaming about to mean she was in such a state. Her body began to shudder violently. She was going to seriously hurt herself if she wasn't careful. Her breath was coming out in gasps and sobs. He wanted to help her. What should he do? He started to take a step towards her. It would all stop if he could just wake her up, then the dream would be over surely.

Hesitantly he took another step forward. He inhaled deeply before he got any closer towards her. _She was not likely to appreciate being woken up by him even if she was having a bad dream._ But it didn't matter. He took a second deep breath and then suddenly so much seemed to happen at once. Granger let out an earpiercing scream, causing not only him to jump about half a mile backward but also waking herself up and alerting people outside in the corridor. She jolted up her eyes opening and staring round fearfully. The door behind him slid open and Potter and Weasel ran in. Potter ran straight across to Granger putting his arms around her shoulder.

He soothingly whispered to her, "Hey, hey, Hermione. It's okay. It's alright. Don't worry. It was just a dream."

Weasley turned to Draco and glared. "What did you do to her Malfoy?" he snarled, "Why don't you just shove off?"

He pushed hard at Draco's chest and he stumbled out of the compartment. There was no use in him staying in there anyway. Whatever was up with Granger could obviously be dealt with by Potter and Weasel. Draco turned away and swiftly went to a toilet, locking it. He sat there mulling over what he had just seen, not wanting to come out again till they reached Hogwarts.

«--»

Hermione woke from her dreams to Harry with his arms around her and Ron sliding into the seat next to her. He was slightly red faced.

"What happened 'Mione? Did he hurt you? Why was he in here with you?"

She furrowed her brow. _What was he talking about? Someone had been in the compartment with her? Had they seen her when she was asleep?_ She covered her face with her hands in confusion and embarrassment. She had no idea what Ron was on about. Everything around her still felt quite fuzzy.

Harry interrupted. "Don't worry her about it now Ron." Turning slightly so he was facing her he patted her shoulder. "Are you going to tell us what happened 'Mione.. hmmm?"

At he words all the pictures of the horror that had filled her dreams flooded back again. She blinked hard at an attempt to stop from bursting into tears again. She cried a lot recently and she knew Harry and Ron had noticed the changes and were worried for her. But she just couldn't tell them anything. It was far too embarrassing and upsetting.

Quickly she pushed past the boys without a words. She headed for the nearest toilet cubicle, and rushing in, she locked it and sank down to her knees.

«--»

Draco sat brooding in the toilet cubile as he heard someone rush into the one next to his. After Weasel had pushed him out the compartment he had retired here. Yes, it was undignified, but really he had felt it was the best place to go where he knew he was definitely going to be alone.

Now his thinking peace had been disturbed by whoever had rushed into the cubicle next to his. He was about to put up silencing charms when he heard a sob. One he recognised from mere moments before. _Granger. Again. Where were Potter and Weasel?_ The sounds changed as she began to choke on her sobs and then he heard her throwing up. _What could her dreams have been about to cause her to cry so hard she vomited?_ He didn't know but he was sure going to find out before the year was up.


	2. Who Knows

When Hermione had calmed down and cleaned up enough to feel secure in others seeing her again, she left the toilet cubicle. Since they were nearly at Hogwarts, she went round to tell everyone that they should be changing into their robes in preparation. Thankfully, Harry and Ron seemed to have got the hint that she didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering her and they asked no more questions when she spoke to them. She did notice they had also tidied up the parchment she had been using into a tidy stack and was grateful.

As soon as the train arrived at the station, everything was a whirlwind of stuff to sort out anyway so fortunately she was distracted for a while. What with sorting out the pupils to make sure they knew where they were going (especially the first years) and finding out a couple of who the prefects were, before she knew it everyone was gathered in the Great Hall. She found herself sat next to Ginny and Harry as the sorting hat began to designate houses to all the first years. Every time a boy or girl was sorted into Gryffindor, hearty cheers went up from her table. She knew a couple of years ago she would've been joining in, but now she had a really bad headache and really just wanted to head up to bed. She wondered vaguely if leaving halfway through the first feast of the year would be a bad example to set as Head Girl. However, the noise in the Hall had settled down to a dull roar as people started tucking into food. Compared to Ron across from her, Hermione barely ate anything. She picked at her food for a while, zoning out of the chatter around her and focusing on the steady buzz in her head. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Harry nudging her. She turned slowly to look at him and he nodded towards the front of the Hall. She shifted her gaze to where he had looked and saw that Professor McGonagall had started to speak.

"Students. Welcome back here to another year at Hogwarts. Now all house prefects will lead the students to their common rooms where students are advised to get some rest before the school year ahead. I will please speak to the Head Boy and Girl in my office after so if you would all like to make your way out. Thank you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Draco made his way at a leisurely pace towards Professor McGonagall's office. He had felt like hell sat at the Slytherin table, trying to ignore the boys conversations regarding the war to his right and Pansy's sickly simpering to his left. It was like he was being ambushed from all sides. Of course, the only person who knew of Draco's change in heart was Blaise. When the fights had first begun over the summer, Draco had written to Blaise about it asking if he could temporarily move in. So for half of the holidays Draco had lived with Blaise and filled him in a few of the details of what had gone down between him and his parents.

However as he had sat chewing on his food, Draco had found his thoughts wandering back towards Granger. He just couldn't get the sounds of her sobs out of his mind. To begin with he had chastised himself for obsessing over the thing so much, although he was no longer in his old frame of mind, he wasn't exactly keen on the idea of becoming bosom friends with Granger. But that wasn't his plan anyway, he told himself sternly; he was simply interested in the reasons behind her tears in case he ever needed to have something over her. Images of her horror-filled, tear-stained face flooded in his brain and he felt a stab of emotions in his gut. Was that... Pity? He wasn't sure but he did know it was unnecessary. He shook his head quickly to clear it. Eight years since he met Granger and he was having more thoughts about her now then he ever had had previously.

He paused momentarily when he reached the portrait and whispered the password to gain access to McGonagall's office. She had taken over as headteacher after the war and although previously he had disliked the severe Professor, he knew she was a good choice. As he walked in, Granger turned around to face him, having obviously arrived moments before. When she realised who he was, her eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth to say something to him. However, before she had a chance to speak, the headmistress entered.

Seeing they were both there, she gestured for them to take a seat and began. "Glad to see you both got here promptly. Now I am sure you will both be tired from the journey so I won't keep you long. As you a probably already aware, head girl and head boy is a privilege and one the comes with a lot of responsibility. To give you your own space for working without distractions, there is a common room for the two of you and you will each have your own rooms. You will doubtless both still be welcome in your respective common rooms so any times you wish to be with your friends please do go to them and not the other way round. I will trust you both to work independently and only come to me if there are any problems. Do you have and questions now?"

Granger just stared between the professor and Draco as if she still couldn't believe that he was truly head boy. She looked physically in shock. Her face was pretty much the same colour as the Bloody Baron and he wondered why McGonagall hadn't commented on that. He resisted the urge to smirk and leaned back into his chair shrugging in response to the Headmistress' question.

Professor McGonagall clearly took their silences to mean all was well and stood up abruptly. "Very well then, you are both dismissed."

She nodded to them both and Granger stood up quickly, flashed a weak (and pretty unconvincing in Draco's opinion) smile at the Professor before practically bolting out of the office. He turned to follow he out but stopped as the teacher addressed him.

"Mr Malfoy, please try your utmost to be considerate to Miss Granger this year." She gave him a smile in return for his slightly puzzled expression and waved him off. As he passed through the door on his way out, he heard he mutter to herself, "Godric knows she needs it."

Intrigued to say the least, he walked briskly off towards his new common room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione rushed out from the office as fast as she could. She couldn't let them see her cry she needed to get somewhere private. Quickly she turned down the corridor only to run smack into someone coming the other way. She found herself sprawling on the floor. Tears were falling freely now and so she just sat there trying to avoid eye contact, hoping that whoever it was she had stumbled into would carry on past her. _Maybe_ she thought _if I just sit here long enough they'll move on. They probably have places to be anyway. Hopefully..._ However she could still feel whoever it was standing above her looking down. _Probably hesitant as of what to do._ She was going to have to be the one who moved away first. Well, no matter, she could just get up and walk away. Hurriedly, she scrambled to her feet. As she did so she felt a hand on her shoulder, steadying her.

"'Mione?" An uncertain yet very familiar voice reached her ears.

She sighed. Great timing: Harry and Ron. Brushing her hair out of her face, she looked up at them giving her best fake smile possible. She knew it would do nothing to the boys - they always knew when she was upset but it made her feel slightly better.

"Hey what's up 'Mione? We were just coming to find you, see what's going on with McGonagall. What's happened?" Harry concern was sweet but she really just wanted to be alone right now. However this was something she actually could share with them so she supposed she should. It kept them from asking to much about other things that she most definitely wasn't okay with sharing with them.

"Malfoy." She said bluntly. "He's... Head Boy."

"What? How?" The shock on both the boys faces was palpable but of course it was Ron who expressed it. Compared to Harry, he was definitely the more aggressive of the two, the war leaving him more emotional than he had been before, especially when it came down to anger.

"I don't know." It was the simple truth. "But it means that I'm going to be spending an awful lot of time with him this year. Sharing a common room for just the two of us..."

"I'm not exactly thrilled by the idea!" She carried on hurriedly as Ron's face started to turn and alarming shade of red, matching his hair. "But it's McGonagall's orders and there's no way I can go against what she says. She's the Headmistress and I'm Head Girl. That means no trouble from me."

"It'll be fine 'Mione. You'll cope." Harry put an arm round her shoulder. "Malfoy obviously can't be that bad or McGonagall would never have picked him for Head Boy. Teachers often know things about students that the other students aren't aware of you know." At the Hermione felt her own face go slightly red but she tried to hide it.

"And if he is being a git just come to us and we'll sort him out." Ron finished venomously.

Hermione felt slightly nervous at Ron's words though she wasn't sure why she should. He was just being a protective friend wasn't he? She suddenly felt the overwhelming need to be alone again.

"Uh thanks guys well I'm sure I'll manage. He'll probably spent most of his time in the Slytherin common room anyway, so. Yeah. Well okay I guess I'll see you around." With that, she quickly ducked out from Harry's arm and walked off down the corridor to her new rooms before anything more could be said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Draco reached the new common rooms for him and Granger, he was burning with desire to find out what was so bad with her that Professor McGonagall had felt the need to make sure he would be considerate towards her. Had he not heard the last comment she had made to herself just before he had left, he might have passed it off as her making sure that he made things easier between them regarding their history or something. But in the time it had taken him to reach the right portrait (Draco had a terrible sense of direction, one of the few skills that failed him) he had convinced himself that Granger's dark secret was known by McGonagall.

He opened up the portrait and stepped inside, his eyes taking it all in. There were two arm chairs facing a small fireplace, and a plush couch with a small coffee table. A little bookcase was against the back wall beside the fireplace and to the other side of the fireplace was a mahogany desk with two chairs, clearly for doing their work at. To the right a miniature kitchen with all essentials and to the left three more doors. But no Granger. _Surely there was no way he could have arrived first. Was she was already in her room? Well then if so, would her books not be on the bookcase already? Perhaps she didn't want him to know she was here. Was she avoiding him? That would not be a good start to him finding out her secret._ Of course Draco wasn't stupid. He knew there was no way she would just tell him. From what he observed on the train today he doubted That Potter and Weasel even knew. But he hadn't just been put in Slytherin because of his heritage. He had the perfect plan.

Just as he was pondering over the best way to approach her if she was truly avoiding him, she burst in the door. He perked up slightly a she entered. _Maybe she wasn't trying to steer clear of him. She had probably just been with her Gryffindor friends. He had probably been reading into the situation too much. It didn't matter now though. Now, she was here and it was the opportunity to begin Phase One of his plan: Being Comfortable With Each Other._ He stood up to say something when he noticed tear stains down her face. She had been off somewhere crying again. A small frown drew across his face. He had no idea how to deal with emotions, something Granger clearly had a lot of and something he had not properly factored into his plan apart from the main like and dislike towards the other. The plan was going to be harder than he originally thought.

This was going to be one long year...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hermione watched as Malfoy stood up when she entered and frowned at her.

She held back a sigh and asked "Which room?"

With mild interest she watched as he jolted himself back out of whatever ( _probably spiteful and rude_ ) thoughts he was having and looked down at her. He was tall, she realised now, probably a good three inches taller than her petite form. He ad also filled out and was started to resemble his father more. She felt her breathing quicken slightly at that thought and Malfoy smirked, most likely getting the wrong idea. She tried to calm down. _Focus. Focus on question._

"Speak up Granger. I don't bite you know." His smirk was growing wider, into a smile.

She closed her eyes and swallowed. "Which room?"

His smile grew again. "That's better. Now I'm guessing from the portraits that your's would be the one on the left."

Looking across she saw a picture of a young girl on a swing with a golden frame. The one one the right was a middle aged man with a drooping moustache completed by a silver frame decorated with snakes. She felt her face flush crimson. _Obviously the one one the left was her room._ She hurried across and went in, not bothering to look back or thank him. Once inside, she collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes. Just her first day and by the end of it she was exhausted.

This was going to be one long year...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Sorry the update took so long and the chapter is quite short as well. Been a busy week. Hopefully the next one will be better.


End file.
